The Moms who Clique

Got kids? Mmhmm. Then surely you have encountered at least one member of the adult Mean Girls complete with their leader Georgine Jorge. No? Really? Oh. So that means one of two things: Your kids are too young/already have friends OR you’re a squad member? Oooh yikes. Yup….If you haven’t noticed the problem, you may actually be part of the problem. You know the “not my kid” warriors. The attack the teacher population. The – my perfect angel only did that because Johnny was breathing too loudly. The clique of infallible kid keepers. The perfect PTO parents. The group of humans raising smaller humans teaching them, (at times unknowingly), it is appropriate to make others feel bad all for their own weird self-satisfaction. Mean girls raising mean girls and not calling it what it really is.

Is it because we have too much time on our hands and a wealth of knowledge on the interwebs? Some people acting like keyboard warriors are looking for a kind of odd validation for something lacking in their childhood. Is it because the cyber universe gives you that buffer zone where you can’t be punched in the face for your nonsense? Then, there are the cliques of people, many “stay at home moms” with kids in full time school or better yet, in their 20s. They really need a hobby or a job, something to fill all that spare time. They talk so much toxic fantasy trash, have group text messaging threads about people all while being as fake as a green screen when in the company of their target. And when, in some shocking turn of events, the truth comes out they are immediately the victim and surprised that this is not normal behavior.

I’ve been there. On the receiving end. Only problem is, it doesn’t work on me or for me. I am an advocate for the underdog. I am the parent that will defend the teacher from being unjustly lambasted at a Meet the Teacher night. I will defend little Johnny and his super quiet uncomfortable mom Susie. I will go out of my way to befriend other low maintenance, jeans and tee shirt moms with less than perfect kids. Let them talk if they want to. I’ve heard some of the stories and tidbits of gossip about me – flattering to know I’m always on your mind. Unfortunately, not everyone is like me and comfortable in their own skin with their own truth. To me, that is heartbreaking. We all need to find ourselves and become at peace with the good, bad, ugly and works in progress. All of it. Ever growing and changing. Working to be the best version of ourselves and embracing it.

Listen, we all have a path to follow with a story to tell and burdens to carry. Do we really have to make it a miserable adventure for other people? Being a kid is hard. School is harder. Adulting is the worst. Our tiny terrors have the rest of their lives to experience the real world and all of the toxic traits our peers have. Can’t we just let them be innocent little children who love all the things and not show them how ugly mommy really is as a person? You don’t like Betty Sue because she doesn’t throw amaretto in her coffee at 6am? Cool. I’m sure BettySue has other things to do besides day drink all the time, but she is all on board with peaceful coexistence; cohesive collaboration to promote the healthy development of our children. Adults trying to successfully raise future productive members of society should be cheering each other on. Maybe learn something you may not have already come across. Instead of bashing the formula feeding mom based on your successful 38 month breastfeeding adventure – praise her. Her baby is fed and thriving. Same ending taking a different route. Our main priority should be these little people.

Fostering positive relationships, both personal and interpersonal, that center around acceptance and individuality and not around entitlement and negativity. Children are mirrors, mimicking all that they see and hear. Love thy neighbor. Do unto others. At the bare minimum, be a decent human and leave other people alone. Don’t dress up your negativity and try to spin it as love and light. No one is buying it. Ignoring it maybe, but no one is sold on the idea of you pushing positivity out into the universe. Putting lipstick on a pig still leaves the pig. Know better and do better. Stop excluding people who are different than your clique. Some of us outsiders are really pretty awesome folks. But the cool kids rarely have the time or energy for bullship. At the end of the day, we should all have the same goal – raising the next generation to be active, productive and contributing member of society and not narcissistic sociopaths. Stop mom shaming. Or Dad shaming. Really just stop being ugly on the inside and letting it leak out. Every person is a human and should be treated as such. Basic human decency. Help bring back the ideas that life is fragile, the world doesn’t owe anyone anything and accountability for oneself. Good Luck!