Sour Dough (anti) Starter

Every time someone tries to talk to me about their sourdough starter, I immediately feel like Charlie Brown listening to his teacher and can only think about Audrey II. Seriously. And I mean no disrespect to the sourdough gang.

I am pretty handy in the kitchen and I make all sorts of things from scratch including bread, cakes, muffins, cinnamon rolls and so on. I am a plain old yeast user when making rising carbohydrate confections. I know, I know – yeast needs to be ‘fed’ and proofed for it to grow my tasty treats. However, having a jar full of glop sitting on my counter that needs attention, to be fed, ‘discarded’ (whatever that means) and loved is super creepy to me (FEED ME SEYMORE!). People lovingly refer to their starter like it’s a pet or a family member. ‘Oh I have to feed my starter today!’ That doesn’t give off warning bells of like evil aliens when something needs to be fed or it’s growing out of your jar? No? Just me? Cool Cool.

I’m told you can make all sorts of delicious baked goods from this real life equivalent of the Blob, but I’ve honestly never looked into it. Because I do not need another living creature under my care. I’m also told it’s “so much easier” but I have my doubts. You have to care for and grow this creature in order to yield yummy creations. I have a hard enough time growing things that call me mom or bark at me. What are you supposed to do if one day it gets angry? Sigh. I don’t want to hear about it if these oozing jars band together to form some weird remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: The Sour Dough Fights Back.

Anywhoo, enjoy your day you fabulous creature caretakers. Keep a close eye on those things will ya? Happy Snacking!