Living in an HOA community

This is wild. Until we moved, I'd only heard of these communities before and seen them on TV but never up close and personal. And then, we went and bought a house in one..and oh boy is this one a doozy. I'd seen Stepford Wives. I declined looking at quite a number of houses when we were shopping because it screamed Stepford. Everything was the same. Yuck. That is not for me. Where we ended up, many of the houses are different. Quite a few different builds, colors and finishes. Ours is different. There isn't another house like ours in the neighborhood. The community is textbook - circular with some partial cul-de-sacs and one entrance/exit. Kids playing, birds chirping, dogs barking. The norm for what you look for when you buy a house with young kids. It's light on amenities, we only have a pool. No club house, playground or common areas but that's OK. There are plenty of places we can go to do things.

When you live in one of these places, there tends to be a lot of houses in close proximity. That means a lot of people. People come with a lot of personalities and beliefs. If you've read any of my previous ramblings, you know one thing I don't like is people. People in a neighborhood is a whole other level. These are grown adults who are out there showing their ass to their neighbors. Yikes.

When you sign up to live in one of these communes, you get to review the community laws, rules and regulations before purchasing. That's when you can back out and say nah, this isn't for me. Well, wanna tell me how these grown people move in and then have that family size package of audacity to pull out complaints that there are rules? You really get to see that in all reality, this is a group of middle schoolers dressed as adults calling each other names with (mostly) empty threats and they all happen to own houses. There are a bunch of normal humans sprinkled in - the ones who keep to themselves and the ones who stay out of the muck.

If your HOA happens to have a social media page, it's on. A free for all of sorts where people get their mouse muscles and keyboard swords and really play hype man for each other. A group of angry and (usually) drunk (internet) warriors attack others in the neighborhood for their own personal amusement. But the funniest part is they post things that are so incredibly outrageous on the internet for the world to see. Not realizing for one split second that not only does it not "damage" the other party, it makes them look like truly terrible, rotten, and likely unhinged human beings. Bored and lonely in their life, reduced down to cyberbullying in adulthood, and admitting they peaked in high school. To have something so lacking in your life that you try to bring people down to your level. Sad really. Also, it is out on the net for eternity. They can't ever get it back. No take-sies back-sies. Many times, a simple google search by a prospective employer can garner some unsavory findings. How does an adult explain that away? "Well you see, Bob didn't like that I was cheating on my wife so I told everyone that he beats his, while I was drunk and high".

Another cute addition to the neighborhood is the victim who likes to drop sprinkles of drama for others to run with. Whoa is me. I don't know why everyone is blaming me. I was only trying to help. I'm the dicktum here. Listen Donna, everyone sees clean through your shenanigans. You don't like someone and you are going to hold on to that grudge, doing everything you can to bring them down from behind the scenes, handing out pitchforks and torches behind the gate. We see you.

Anti-board. Anti-rules. Anti-pay your dues on time. Dissolve the association. I'm going to do what I want. My guy, you literally signed up to be in here. There is no way that you could have possibly signed up any more than you did. You went out and found a house, put an offer on it, signed the contract. Signed 800 other documents and are now the fancy owner of a house INSIDE an HOA community. You did this. Now you could always sell your house and purchase outside of a community, but that would take away all of your daily fun. It's so much better for everyone if you just piss and moan, pick on your neighbors, and (in your eyes) cause mayhem on the internet.

Let's not forget the 'I'm going to sue' folks. For what Jerald? Because you have to put your trash cans away and mow your grass? Stop it. You're going to sue the community you pay to live in, where you signed on the dotted line to be in to accomplish what- raise your dues because of legal fees? That sounds well thought out.

Then there's the My Child Would Never gang. The ones who don't know where their kids are or what they are doing but stand firm at nope, not my kid. Then when their kid comes out caught on video or photo, never-ing the hell out of all the nevers they'd never do, we get Can't kids just be kids anymore?

All in all, living in an HOA really is what you make of it. We've made friends here, with about 7% of our community. Not everyone is an insufferable wretch. However, when you put a large amount of people close together, people will unfortunately always do peopley things. But that's all I have to say on that subject for today. It's time to go make some friends at the community pool. Stay spicy friends.