Just another Internet “Mom” Group
- officiallyduckingb
- Mar 10
- 5 min read
I am a member of many, too many in fact, mom groups and similar groups surrounding different things or communities. There are some “mom” groups that state they are out to help, inform and support but they are really just twisted people looking to bully other people to the point of no return. If you don’t agree with every single vile thing that they “believe in” (in the name of science of course), you are the problem, and it is acceptable to degrade another human for that alone. Yikes. I can’t tell you what they are called, but they’re out there with their sanctimonious talks. The other mom groups though, they’re…. something.
Imagine large groups of bored, unhappy women gathering together to affirm each other’s poor choices and consulting the people living in your phone before acknowledging the real world. Don’t confuse this with a women supporting women scenario. No. It is akin to delusion supporting delusion and let me tell you – their delusions are more unhinged than a drunken Friday night where my bestie and I have a therapy session or plan anything. Call me old school, but I like to only share my delusions of grandeur with my besties, usually over cocktails.
In recent months there has been an uptick of posts, mostly anonymous users, asking for “advice” on two topics. Topic one is: I am getting divorced/leaving my spouse (with or without instances of cheating), I don’t have a job/I'm a stay-at-home mom and the spouse cut all my access to money/credit cards. Add or take away details of that scenario, but it’s the same story. Topic two is: my child (insert any age above toddlerhood from let’s say 5 -22yrs) is being disrespectful/not following rules/not listening/maybe we are too soft etc., what do we do? If you offer any realism into your comment, you are immediately branded as the problem and accosted by people telling you how judgmental you are with the backhanded comments “hoping” we (the people planted firmly in reality) don’t ever have to go through something like this. In order to be seen as ‘supportive’, you must jump into the problem and tell the person posting how strong and brave she is and that they’re doing a great job. Honestly, that isn’t helping anyone. Truly. You can be supportive AND a realist. Factually speaking, I personally will not face these particular issues in my life. I have and will face many others, but not these in particular.
For starters, in 2025 no person should ever place every ounce of blind faith into another human. Human behavior is unpredictable at best, and we should not ever expect the actions and motives of another human to match our own at all times. Doesn’t matter how much we love them or how long we have known them. We are not that other person. No person, on either side of the spectrum, should not have their own finances. This isn’t 1953. I get staying home with the kids until they start school. I did it. Our household did it, not just me. I support being a homemaker, if that’s your chosen life. However, with the age of technology, there are numerous ways to earn money without leaving the house. Once they are in school, part-time jobs are abundant. The thought that another person could take my name off of a debit card/account and leave me with the 53 cents in my wallet – absolutely not. How are you going to take care of your kids with a dollar, nowhere to go and still want to retain a top-notch divorce attorney? It just doesn’t work Susan.
The second issue – I get it. I do. We don’t want to see our kids hurt in any manner. However, we are not our kids' friend. They need consequences for their actions. They need authoritative adults in their life guiding them to be the productive and contributing members of society that they will need to be. If you don’t start parenting until they are 8 or 10 years old – it won’t work. You missed the mark and blessed the world with someone who cannot take disappointment or the word NO and is overall insufferable to be around. I’m not saying beat your kids into submission. They need to know when they are wrong. They need to be taught to use that inner guide for right and wrong. They are absolutely allowed to have thoughts, feelings and opinions but they are not the ones in control when they are knee high to a grasshopper. I am a full-grown adult who absolutely gets cranky over doing mundane tasks day and night – why wouldn’t I expect my kids to feel the same way? They’re still humans, just smaller. Guide them on the right and wrong ways to filter through those emotions. Tell them no. Tell them the truth. Ya know what Betty Sue, I also don’t want to clean my room, but it needs to be done. Make them work for things. Unplug from technology. Feed them food and not processed convenience every day. And trust me – we absolutely have convenience foods in my house cause your girl is not cooking every day. Some days I am so beyond exhausted it just isn’t happening and cereal for dinner it is. At the same time, they all have hands and can work together to make themselves food if the quick options are not to their liking. Because I molded them to be independent and self-sufficient. However, please don’t blur independent and self-sufficient as disrespectful. I am their very best friend but, in all scenarios, I am the parent; the adult and they know it. This is a very long-winded way of saying – Parent them please.
We need to do better with ourselves and the next generations of future adults we are raising. What I see, both in reality and on the internet, is absolutely terrifying. I see people saying all these words about not being able to parent their kids. I have heard people talking about how they need “me time” away from their kids. What even is that? We have such a short trip with these little people. I hate when my kids are away from me, and I want to soak up every moment we get with them being our itty-bitty people. But alas, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, I guess. Parent your kids and stop looking at people on the internet as your friends, looking for their approval or support. They’re strangers. Find real people and make sure to properly tend to the real people in your life like you would those strangers on the internet. And for all that is holy, stop being shocked when strangers on the internet do something like send screenshots of your posts to real people in your life, like your significant other or ex. They are STRANGERS on the internet. If you didn’t share your whole life on the web, you wouldn’t have to worry about that. We teach our kids about stranger danger but some of y’all need a refresher. I digress. Stay weird friends. Until next time.
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