I've be reading across the interwebs and came across some older postings of a couple people who, for reasons I'm still trying to understand, are making Un-friends with everyone in their life. So let's talk about it.
I should preface by saying that, it's on the googles so it must be true. I'm sure it's satire, or rage baiting or...some form of this didn't really happen in real life but it gets me clicks on the internet. HOWEVER, nothing shocks me anymore and people are always out there people-ing. So let's hop on this train, shall we?
In my surfing, I came across some lady in Washington (the state of), who I'm sure is lovely. In her story, she held a small dinner party, invited her friend (loose definition applied) with husband to her home as dinner guests. Then, she proceeds to send an unexpected Venmo request (for $58) after the party to pay for their usages and consumption. Yea, that's right- I said usages and consumption. Consumption would be the obvious food and drinks for the meal. Usages, however, are for the electricity for the oven and ringing the doorbell, the propane for the grill and water usage for hand washing and flushes, among other (ridiculous) things. The article also went on to read that she often sends venmo requests after play dates to the other kids parents. Hmm. I read this article a couple days after I came across a video where the mom talked about normalizing paying the other parents for playdates and also sent a (poorly received & unexpected) venmo request for couch wear & tear, soap pumps and chalk usage. The reasons stated by both of these social communications majors is that basically - ships expensive. That is the only car in this crazy train that I can ride. Ship IS expensive. Everything and all of it.
Let's unbag this a little more. Are people so inept at communicating with each other, socially stunted and damaged by the age of technology that they would think sending a bill after a fun time without any pre-event conversation is appropriate and would (should) be embraced by the receiver? Are people that uncomfortable with the people they associate with or allow their kids to spend time with that the topic of "hey I'm broke but Toodles wants to play with little John. Wanna chip in $10 each for some snacks and chalk and let them run around the back yard?"
There's no shame in wanting to spend time with your friends and also wanting to share the costs OR the work. Bring a food and a drink. Plan a menu together and split the grocery bill. Go out to early bird dinner and get separate checks. Have more than one friend (however doubtful that may be) you want to gather with - host a potluck. Everyone brings a dish. Despite popular belief, we CAN be broke and have fun making memories with friends. We don't have to keep up with the Joneses. Or the Smiths. (They're all broke these days too by the way) The first step is to surround yourself with people that you're comfortable with. The second step is to communicate with these people that you want to spend time with them. Speaking from experience, neither my friends nor I would bat an eye if one of us called (texted) and said HEY! Love you and miss you and I'm broke but let's play cards and drink wine in my kitchen until 2am. Bring snacks! And so much fun was there to be had. ️ Same thing with our kids friends - hey there fellow parent. I'll host Jimmy and Johnny for a play date, you send snacks. Cool? Cool.
Again, this is all based out of a satirical internet blurb but we should actually try and do better at communicating with the people we associate with. We all see that just breathing is expensive these days. Working together, we can try and support each other and make our individual bubble worlds a little better place. Go back in time to when people were actually friends and not buried in some make-believe land that only exists in our phones. Happy Gatherings!
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