Heirs to your throne

Children. Kids. Small humans. The yet to be educated part of society. Sex participation trophies. A small army of your own making. Precious darlings. Tiny Terrors. Whatever it is you choose to call them, there is one thing that I think we can all agree on – Not everyone likes your child(ren). Now hear me out first, I have some of my own ankle biters. Although ankle biter doesn’t quite fit my spawn anymore. They are more like hip to shoulder biters, which doesn’t have the same fun ring to it. I love these little miscreants and so does my husband. But I don’t expect for one second for the general public to like them or to even tolerate them for that matter.

Children are notoriously jerks. They are loud, messy, irritable, demanding, they leak body fluids and possess an overall lack of understanding or any sense really of boundaries or personal space. That is where our jobs come in, as responsible breeders and all. We are supposed to make them less feral and hope in the end that they turn out to be active, functional, contributing members of society and not tomorrows serial killers. We are not their friends. We are their adult supervision. We love them, cuddle them, guide them, teach them and grow with them. Helping them learn every step of the way. It starts with small things like walking and self-feeding and then it grows to bigger accomplishments like wiping your own butt without leaving skid marks in your drawers or tying your shoes without turning the laces into giant knot balls. We teach them to respect others, everyone is human and should be treated as such. Until we get to that point though, and in many instances even when we do get to that point of cognitive independence and the ability to follow social norms and cues, other people’s children can be completely insufferable. These are fun sized humans who are not actually fun and have their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and driving forces who ultimately grow into full sized "adult" humans with the same unique driving forces. And frankly, I also find many adults intolerable.

Children can be rude and act like uncaged animals out in public. No one wants to hear little Johnny screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the restaurant that he absolutely doesn’t want to be at. It doesn’t matter how cute he is. Please make it stop. Sarah and Kira should never ever be playing tag in a nail salon. (Insert grocery or department store name here) is not the place for running blindly at full speed, taking out Grandma Rose in the process so she leaves in an ambulance with a broken hip, when all she really wanted was a loaf of bread and some prunes. This is where we step up and step in. It is our adult responsibility to teach these freeloaders some etiquette.

Children are mean, bordering cruel and sadists in training. They do and say whatever they can think of to hurt another person; To embarrass someone to make themselves feel better. They act like vultures attacking the weaker prey. They really are part of the animal kingdom at times. Let's raise our children to be different. To not let their own perceived inadequacies be the driving force to make someone else feel bad. Life is difficult enough as it is while these tiny terrors go on trying to wreck every single calm and peaceful thought around them. Nothing is off limits to them. Teach them. Be an active participant in their lives. Don’t include children in adult topics and conversations. And holy hannah believe it when it sounds unbelievable. The biggest bully on the playground belongs to the parent who is the first to say - oh my angel baby would never. Yes they would. And they did. Suck it up Suzan, they are absolutely not all goodness, love and light at all times. I was absolutely guilty of doing all of the things (in the company of great friends of course) and I mean doing all of the things that my parents didn't think I was doing. So at the bare minimum, know that your kid IS going to do it (whatever IT may be) and teach them accountability. If they're going to do it, they need to own it and whatever consequences come along with it. Accountability, similar to common sense, is a great skill that is severely lacking in adults, which is an assessment based on my daily scrolling of the interwebs and the interactions I've overheard out in public (Walmart).

Besides all the reasons previously explained, some people just don’t like children. Period. And that’s ok because when they grow up and one day (hopefully) leave the nest – people aren’t going to like them then either. The world is a cold place, teach them young that no one is going to care about them or their feelings like their parents/family do. That's okay too because we are raising the independent, self sufficient, productive members of the next generation whom are kind to others while not needing validation from outside forces. Win- Win. Happy Parenting Everyone!