Do you want to be my friend? Is that weird? Nevermind

When we are younger, we would have a toy or be playing a game or at a playground and we just ask people if they want to play with us. BAM! We’re friends now. Just like that. Kids talking to other kids at some kind of group meeting place, and they had someone to play with for a while, until that relationship didn’t work any longer.

So now we are adults. How are we supposed to make adult friends? I guess I could wander around my neighborhood with a jump rope and some Barbies, but I don’t think that is going to be well received. We do have alcohol as adults. I suppose I could go get a little bell for my bicycle (Ding Ding) and ride it around the neighborhood. We can call it the Bacardi Bike and we’ll just ride around taking shots. That could be a great idea that goes really well or horribly wrong. Hmm. Kinda like a coin toss – heads you win, tails I lose.

We spend the majority of our waking hours at work. We usually become friendly with coworkers or just merely tolerate their existence. Either way, they’re not exactly “friends”. We are friendly, personable and try to maintain a happy coexistence. But friends? Not usually. There are always outliers but generally coworkers fit somewhere in between acquaintances and friends; their own little subgroup. People in the workplace generally only want you to see their work persona and not the wild crazy table dancing Jennifer after 5pm. People don’t like mixing work and personal affairs. They’re inner Hannibal Lecter stays buried away from the office mates, so when they’re interviewed it’s always the same story – “Todd was so quiet but friendly. He really kept to himself. It’s so strange he would slaughter 46 people and store them in his freezer”. Then we leave behind the place where we spend the majority of our time and we come home to the humans we’ve made and the human we chose to coexist with. Where do we find these random people to attempt to forge friendship with?

If you’re a parent, I guess we could use our kids. I have a bunch of thoughts and opinions on this but basically, it’s weird. So, let’s say the kids have some sort of spat and stop speaking. Do you have an obligation to stop speaking to the other parent(s) as like a show of solidarity to your kid? That also goes the other way as well, if the adults have a falling out, do the kids get punished and pulled away from each other? Or even worse, brought into the middle of it? Yikes! That doesn’t seem fair. Kids don’t ever belong in adult issues or conversations. Like never ever. They’re just kids. One day they will be grown and have to deal with all the grown bullship. Until then, let them enjoy being little with the lack of adult-ish nonsense. I personally, tread lightly on the friends through the kids avenue.

Let’s turn it over to your significant other. We could always make them go and find friends who maybe also have a significant other that we can be friends with. And that would be so so great! We could all be friends. Until it isn’t great. It is in fact so not great that someone is telling Becky’s husband to go kick rocks in traffic. (Psst – it’s me. I’m someone). Then Becky is upset, and her husband is mad and no matter what, you’re just not sorry cause ya know what, sometimes the truth hurts. Then your saint of a husband is like Ahh, I love her, loud ass mouth and all. Or it could cause discord at home, and who wants there to be discord when you’re already home so little. No thanks.

It's possible that if you have the time to do something that does not include a human you birthed or attaining a wage you, could possibly meet some humans. I know that there are people in this world who like doing things like organized sports, exercise classes or a club of sorts. I would imagine you would likely find some people who have at least one similar interest as you. Or they’re a serial killer looking for a new fun game. Either way, it will spice up your social life for a moment. I am not one of these fun, magical unicorn people who can manifest extra hours and energy to be able to do some activity outside of the home that doesn’t include one of those freeloaders or a job responsibility. Have no fear though, those people are definitely out there somewhere.

Thankfully, through the years, I have been able to find a few other humans I am lucky enough to call my friends. I found most of them long ago, grabbing on tightly and dragging them thru this whirlwind existence we share. Sadly, we did move pretty far away a couple of years ago. We still talk and text and facetime. I’ve even had a few of them come and visit. Those are my people. They are firmly entwined into our family. They get me and all the quirkiness within my family. I’ve tried to make “new” friends and a few times fell short. So far I’ve been able to corner some neighbors into forced conversation which went pretty well. These new budding relationships are still in their early stages so we shall see. Since I found them in my neighborhood if it goes poorly, I guess I’ll have to sell my house. 😉If you grab enough courage to talk to strangers and try to make new adult friends – may the odds be in your favor. Happy Hunting!