All the Unhealthy coping skills

Life is one big constant cycle of waxing and waning; the good highs and the bad lows. Usually in sync with the lunar cycle and [unofficially] astrology cycles and changes (lookin' at you Mercury). It just so happens that we are currently driving smack in the middle of the highs and lows, at the same time of course, with a plate full of other breakables in our lap. It's ok though. Well, it's going to be ok. All of it. We just need to maintain a joined force and wade thru the sludge as it comes. All at once. But what else is new? It is always everything at once. The universe likes to go big. The giant cosmic joke, where people hold on to the illusion of control and the universe is like Hold My Beer. It's cool though, if you understand it.

So while chatting with a colleague, she asked me - "What are you doing for you right now?" My immediate response was that I am not committing felonies so I am keeping myself out of jail. Cause why not use humor and sarcasm, that is what I am built on. She's like cool, yup. That IS a great thing BUT, what are you doing for you? Oh easy - spending money like I am a billionaire heiress. Which I am not. I am not even a thousand-aire but we need things. Like I *needed* to buy concert tickets for the husband and I to enjoy. And then I saw a friend on social media talking about (insert fragrance store name here) 3 wick candles. Have I ever bought "brand name" candles? No. Have I ever dreamed I'd be paying 13.99 for a candle? Also no. But it definitely sounded like something I needed and guess who has 5 of them now?? And yes, they really are pretty amazing and I'm not even mad that I bought them on sale. Then a cool thing happened, the husband commented on the delectable fragrance and they went on sale AGAIN. Can you believe it? So I bought 5 more. Cause I needed all of them? (stop judging me).

But not all of my coping mechanisms are unhealthy. I don't consume more than an occasional, socially acceptable amount of alcohol; 1 or 2 beers. I have not started smoking crack. Heck, I didn't even go back to smoking cigarettes, even though I would love that too. I walk 1.5 miles on my lunch break daily and I do some other exercises. That is just in hopes that I stop gaining weight from quitting smoking and not necessarily a coping mechanism . *sigh* Up until two months ago, excessive nicotine intake was a coping skill, but we gave those up for weight gain. I've been dangling on the edge of a panic attack for months now. You know, just slight symptoms - throat closing, chest heaviness, exhaustion but can't sleep thru the night. Oh you don't know? It's just me? It's not actually normal....excellent. At this point, I would be lonely without my anxiety and panic disorder keeping me on my toes 24 hours a day.

I definitely use sarcasm and other avoidance behaviors for dealing with stressors and issues. I love ignoring it until it goes away; or blows up like Mount Vesuvius. Either or really. I love to dive into a new fictional book or series to binge read in it's entirety (Avoidance). But it has to be far off fantasy, something I can submerge myself in that could never ever happen out here in the real world. Like witches, wizards and werewolves kind of fantasy. I love to go to bed at the same time as my kids at night and not sleep (avoidance). I like to binge watch new shows (avoidance). I like to cook and bake (gluttony).

Now that I have really had a chance to process all of this and view it "on paper", I really don't have one recommended healthy coping skill. Not one. There is no more compelling evidence that I am in fact a child of the eighties. Unhealthy coping skills and solitude mixed with sarcasm and spice and you get a member of generation X. Good luck out there. I'm off to go peruse the interwebs to find how normal people come to grips with the universal nonsense .......